| | So it's starting to get to me--the Fear, the realities and overwhelm of the school year. I'm taking a stress managment course, so hopefully that'll help. You know, as long as I manage to "work in" some time to practice any stress management techniques....
Meanwhile, I've flaked off these last two days' homework time. I'm probably just anxious and running as hard as I can from the Fear. At least it's been in the interest of cool friends...saw a lunchtime movie with one friend and then skipped a class to chill and partake of hookah and later got an early dinner with some other friends and then went on facebook chat for at least a third of my night class.
And all through it, a slight, thrumling headache to irk me off. Oh, no, much as I'd like, poet as I am, to ascribe them to some guilt reflex symbology, I know they're tension headaches. I've been getting them for years--as long as I've been chronically stressed. And they really suck the life & will outta me.
I think when I get home I'll practice some autogenics then call it an early night. I've found freakishly satisfying results with that technique, and apparently participants in studies have reported almost immediate relief from migraines and tension headaches, sooo....
I need to call this new psychiatrist of ours and get a prescription. I need to work out the details with this ADD coach I'm gonna work with--so fucking excited. I need to fill out and turn in those forms for the Honors Society and also that bunch for "life event benefits" activation as apparently I get money for having good grades; who knew. I need to start blogging again, since I miss the outlet. And I need to catch up on my reading assignments and develop my essay topic more and apply to UMD and look for jobs and practice driving and find a boyfriend and suck less ass and branch out my social network and set some goals and start at some point, I can only hope, living my life instead of scrambling desperately through each day.
You might be able to see how life can get overwhelming for me. Cuz it's not just cuz I can show off and catalog innumerable unattended responsibilities--but that even when I try to attend to them, I never know where to begin or how. This is largely to do with my ADD; prioritizing can be a big problem...
Which is why, often, I can only hope for some peace, or whatever. To actually start living, or something.
Anyway, I'll try to keep movin' and quit bitchin' (as much). But Lord knows a poker face only begets a cold demeanor and frigid, if not arrhythmic, heart.
PS: now that I'm home and it's 10:53, i strongly doubt I'll be practicing any autogenics tonight. it's kind of late, and i'm kind of exhausted. fuck my life. >.< |
| | Posted 10/6/2009 10:17 PM - 23 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
